If I may offer some insight, being yourself is always the right thing to do, but the environment to do it in isn't always the right one.

To be wholly yourself, you must definitely cut yourself off of every single element that prevents you from reaching that point, while also look for a place where you can be yourself and be completely accepted. That's the key. It's about switching environment completely.

In my opinion, you didn't sabotage yourself, you removed yourself from a nefarious and non-beneficial environment, but except without having the backup of being able to go elsewhere/away to a better place.

And granted, finding that place is always so damn difficult. But it's essentially a two-steps enterprise, 1: leave the first environment, 2: go somewhere that fits adequately instead.